Telling Our Story

It's time to tell our story.

When we began our heart transplant journey in January of 2010, we felt so alone. Being listed for a heart transplant is very rare - but when you are 24? Extremely unusual.

For a long time I've run from our story. I don't like it. Never wanted it.

I'm an ISFJ and an Enneagram 6. I like to blend in, to be told what's expected and normal and just do that. I never wanted an extraordinary life and find the safety and security I need in blending into the crowd.

But that's just not the journey God has given me.

I hate to cry in front of people but am probably known for that by now. I struggle to put my thoughts into words and yet have constantly been learning to do so through therapy. I grew up suppressing all my feelings and am learning that emotions are from God and are good.

I wanted G to be safe. With me. To be in rocking chairs on our front porch when we grew old - as cliche as that sounds. That's the life we wanted. That was our dream.

Yet here I am, living the life that God planned for me and not the one I planned for myself.

So yesterday I decided to stop running. If this is our story, then I will tell it. If this is what Jesus has for me - the way that he has chosen for me to spend my short time on this earth - then I want to squeeze all I can out of it for his glory.

If he gave us something unusual, he probably wants to do something unusual with it. I've been hiding it and when I hide it, I hide the story of God's faithful, hesed love toward us. A love that gives us what we need but not always what we want. A love that has held us in its grip. A love that I know I can depend on because it has been tested and tried through the darkest days of my life and held firm.

All that security and safety and "normalcy" I want in a quiet, obscure, blend-in kind of life, I need to find in Jesus instead. He has done so much. Maybe it's time to share.