It Hurts to be Ignored

It hurts to be ignored. It just does.

Back in the winter, when I had trouble in my house and sent HW a text, he responded right away and offered to help. Last night I texted him about a door coming off a hinge and asking him to help and he has ignored me. Now, benefit of the doubt here: I did follow-up saying I found someone else to take care of it and he is probably out of town and it was a Friday night. But, that doesn't change the fact that it hurts to be ignored.

He is giving me all the signals that I freaked him out by wanting to talk. He is giving me all the signals that not only is he not interested in anything beyond friendship, he may not be even interested in that.

Read the room girl.

So, what do I do? I'll send a text wishing his daughter a happy birthday tomorrow. Later in the week I will text him to followup on the kid-swap. And I think that's it.

Occasionally play dates with the kids over the summer will be great. But he is backing away and really its what I needed and what I need.

Reality is my friend as my counselor would say. Reality is that he may have been interested but he isn't now. Reality is that I don't know why so I won't let myself go down roads that lead to self-pity or feeling bad about myself. He is not interested. And it hurts. But its what it is. I can move on. I can rely on friends and on others who have offered me help. I can turn for companionship to the women in my life even though I miss male companionship.

I can come alongside his daughter as they wish and not force myself on them. I can realize that they were in our lives and we were in their lives for a season. It would seem that that season is coming to a close. But through it I started riding horses again. Through it I got an army of experts in many fields around me to help. Through it P made friends who he felt could understand him. Through it our lives weren't as lonely as they could be. And now it's time for a new season.