Inside Jokes

I miss having someone that I have inside jokes with. G and I would constantly catch each other's eyes across a table, a room, or a meeting at work. We instantly knew what the other was thinking. There were so many jokes that we shared. So many little things - people's idiosyncrasies, references to TV shows or movie, things that happened in the past. Just a word or two and we'd be trying to hold in our laughter.

I miss someone to be silly with at night. Someone I can just be myself with.

Heck, I miss someone to talk about my bowel movements with! I mean, we talked about everything. We were married 13 1/2 years. Nothing was off topic.

Few things even needed to be communicated with words. We just knew the other's perspective, or how they would react. I so often could anticipate the next word he would use. I'd heard his stories so many times. I knew what the look on his face meant.

It's these things that make it lonely even when people are here. But even more so when they aren't. Something happens and I'm ready to say something or give a certain look to G - but he's not there, so I just hold it in.

Am I going to lose our jokes with no one to share them with? There are so many that no one else would understand.

Gosh do I long to see him or talk to him. We're going to have a lot to catch up on in Heaven!