I Give Up

On teaching my son math.

Today was horrible.

I cannot homeschool, and be mom, and take care of everything with finances, and look for schools for next year, and figure out how/when to engage in work, and be his only playmate due to COVID! And grieve G. And help him grieve his dad!

But what I really can't do is math. It is making us both miserable. He laid on the floor sobbing today - about an hour and a half in - and I just stood in the kitchen trying to not lose my mind.

So I signed him up for an online course. I think it will make him happy. He might even enjoy it! And it will give me a break.

I'm not sure it's what "good" homeschool moms do.

But as my counselor said, I'm not a bad mom, I'm a grief mom. And being a grief mom has a whole other set of rules.

I forgot that today and tried to be a good mom - a good mom as defined, really, by my mother who doesn't know how to deal with grief and probably thinks I'm over mine.

I'm not. And I can't do it all.

So for $20/mo I'm getting a little break. And it feels great.