Friend-Zoned

I was friend-zoned HARD last night

It stings. It's disappointing.

My friendship with HW has grown since we first met in November and our kids' friendships have too. We text often, talk often, spend time together often.

Maybe it was inevitable that my lonely heart would become attached to him. He loves Jesus, is a great dad, is attractive, is kind, a good listener, is masculine, makes me laugh. I enjoy being around him and his kids and for months now have been struggling with these feelings on the inside and wondering if he had similar feelings towards me.

Welp, he doesn't. It came to a head yesterday when I took the next step and admitted over text that I think he's handsome. No response. Then later in the day I mentioned that I had said it... and he came back with a response saying that he hope we are on the same page of being friends. Just friends

Ouch.

I love being his friend. But my heart wants more. I'm lonely. I don't love doing this life alone. We have similar stories and similar dreams. We (in my opinion) could do well together.

But he is not interested. We are just friends.

I thanked him for the clarity and told him it will help me guard my heart because I do care about him and admire him. I wanted to be honest. I told him I need to be careful. It's all true.

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life."

Somehow I need to stay friends and guard my heart. Love on his kids and guard my heart.

I think I will text less, initiate less, hang around after riding lesson less.

Still come alongside of EG. Still have the kids over for dinner and play dates. Still help him out when he's in a bind.

Oh do I need wisdom and help from the Lord on this. I don't feel crushed by his rejection like I thought I might but it definitely hurts. And it throws me right back into wondering what in the world I am doing? What in the world is next? It's not a future with HW clearly. I need to put all my hope for today and tomorrow in Jesus and Jesus alone.