Down to One

I took my wedding band off of my right hand last night. And now I'm down to one ring.

Later this week, I travel with my son to a country where it isn't safe to wear jewelry- not if you want to keep it! As I've gotten closer to our trip, I've been thinking more about my rings. What will it be like to take them off for a week?

I've had my wedding band on my right ring finger since December. It was in December that I realized that wearing my rings on my left ring finger was giving the false impression that I was married - to others and to myself. I needed to live in the reality of my life and take them off. But I wasn't ready to have them off completely. Thus the wedding band on my right hand.

Next to it has been the birthstone ring that G gave me on my second Mother's Day with P.

Last night I decided to take off my rings to see what it felt like. But then I couldn't get my wedding band on back on. It was tight! I probably could have forced it - but its coming off at the end of the week anyway. I put it in our safe where it will be joined in a few days with P's birthstone ring.

I woke up this morning with one ring on my right hand - just P's birthstone ring. And it feels right. It feels good - and light, and like it's the way to move forward. That ring can represent P and G. It was a gift from G. It represents that I am the mother of P. But it also lets me go forward.

And one thing I thought last night was that if my wedding band is keeping me from moving forward with HW, I don't want to wear it. My heart is becoming attached to him and I am hopefully that there may be a future for us together.

So now I'm down to one ring. It feels right. It feels free.