Being with People Helps

I saw more people than usual today. A lot of days it's just me and P. Those are hard days. Two hurting people dealing with loss.

Today I met with my boss (who is one of my closest friends and mentors), chatted with my neighbor and good friend who moved in November, and talked to my brother on the phone. A friend that I was in Bible study with a couple years ago brought a meal and UT didn't work tonight so we got to spend time with him. He helped me with a bunch of stuff after P went to sleep too.

I realized that being with people reminds me that life is happening. It makes me want to live. I don't mean stay alive. I mean LIVE.

For a small time I think about and talk about things other than G. I laugh. I commiserate. I tell or hear stories. It's good.

Even when hard things are said or things make me feel lonely and isolated because of how different my life is from someone else's, it's still just good to be with people.

I feel lighter in my spirit. It's a bit easier to deal with the hard moments. I don't feel so alone.

Slowly, I'm trying to figure out how we can do more life with people. We need people. I am so inadequate to parent Paul alone. And I will be his only parent of course, but we don't need to be alone.

I look forward to having dinner at other people's houses. To having people into our house. To living.

And sometimes I don't want to. Sometimes I just want to stay in the past where G is.

Sometimes I do, at least in my head. But being with people reminds me that there are good things in the present too.