A New Dream

I need a new dream.

I've been waiting for someone to give one to me, and I've felt aimless. Maybe remarriage has become my new dream. HW and the life I imagined I could have with him became my new dream. But that is not a dream that is going to happen (with HW) and I have zero control over whether or not God brings a man into my life that I could and should marry.

I've realized this week that my standards need to be way higher. I don't want to settle for someone who isn't the kind of partner I need - no matter how much I enjoy the company. I need to wait for the man that God brings me. My sights need to be higher. I need to be pursued. Loved. Seen. Heard. Valued.

And since I have no idea of marriage is in my future, I need a dream that isn't that.

Yesterday I laid on a hammock under an elm tree and realized how much being outside and riding horses is good for my soul. I'd like for that to continue to be a part of my life. At least once a week as it is now, but maybe more too?

I may want to move. Closer to P's school, closer to the farm. Spend less time in traffic each day. Find a home that feels less like a ticking time bomb because its so old.

I think I know the new church we need to go to - it's a matter now of making the change - taking the leap and following the Lord and getting invested in it.

I'd like to help with the book that will feature G's story. Keep writing. Dig through G's writings and messages and maybe put them together into something that could be shared with others.

I'd like to continue meeting with college women. Sharing the Gospel. Pointing them to Jesus. Helping them grow.

I'd like to get to know better people I've met this year. Focus on being a good friend to the women in my life.

I'd like to go back to Colombia and take P to other places in the world.

I'd like to live out my values: the Gospel first and foremost, my family (P and extended), loving and serving others. Generosity. Being brace. Facing fears.

I'd like to spend more time baking, because I love it. Sharing baked goods with others as a way to share love. Read more. Share books. Less YouTube. Less reality TV gossip.

Support P in his growing love of soccer.

Continue taking courses through the Allender Center. Maybe get certified.

Love Jesus. Love others. Hesed.