It's my third Mother's Day without G and I feel okay. Maybe I won't later, but I needed to record that the approach of this holiday...

Today I turn 38. Greg will always be 35. These numbers feel so strange. He was always 12 days older than me. How can I now be 3 years...

It's the second day of fall, and the first day that it feels like it. I'm sitting here wearing a fleece jacket, jeans, and my favorite...

Yesterday P went to his second day-long grief camp, nearly a year after his first. I've tried to look back in my memory of what it was...

I've been feeling that old feeling again. That pit in my stomach. The nausea I associate with losing G. The constant, unending feeling...

My goodness, how is my boy finishing 2nd grade tomorrow? A grade that G wasn't here for at all. He's up to my shoulders now and growing...

It's Mother's Day again. My second without G here. I truly can't remember last year. What did we do? Did we celebrate? I feel sure...

Here we are again. It's Valentine's Day. Last year it was on a Sunday. I doubt we watched the service online that week. Some days it...

Yesterday I went to a co-worker's wedding. My first wedding since G died. First wedding without him by my side since my brother got...

My counselor told me about a saying her daughter uses: "Follow the breadcrumbs". The breadcrumbs that are the slow unveiling of your life...

In just over 3 hours, it will be a new year. 2022. G wasn't alive for 2021 and I remember hating that we were entering into a year in...

I drove to my meeting yesterday - Christmas cards and Nerds Rope in a bag, ready to be shared. But the tears started welling up below...

Nerds Rope was G's favorite candy to get in his Christmas stocking. I learned this the first Christmas we spent together at his family's...

Thanksgiving. My first one without G since he came with me to Massachusetts in 2006. He had just had his first cardiac arrest,...

Life is about Jesus So let me hope in Him The lover of my soul Who saved me from my sin Christmas is about Jesus So let me rejoice in Him...

Grief feels like nausea. A heaviness in my chest. A desire to ignore the obvious: G is gone. Grief is too hard to be faced. So I...

I remember that I ran into my neighbor - I think it was on the way to the hospital or maybe when I was outside on the phone with the...

Today is Wednesday and G's Memorial Service is on Saturday. 3 days. Yesterday, P and I went to our church for a final planning meeting...

G's Memorial Service is in 5 days. Last week I cried a lot just thinking about it. My grief felt so raw. The reality that he is really...

We're at our favorite beach in OBX this week with G's brothers. I knew it was going to be a mix of fun and hard, but it's different than...