I made it. We made it. I feel like there is an ocean of grief under the surface but if you stay busy enough there's no way for it to...

I'm sitting on the bed with candy wrappers next to me having just spent an hour looking up stupid reality TV gossip online. I'm numbing...

There have been new hard things being at my sister's house. Hers is the first family that we've visited that resembles what ours used to...

I'm an introvert. When G was alive I needed some time alone. I woke up in the morning before P and G so that I could have my coffee,...

We started our big trip yesterday. 6.5 hours in the car with a stop at a little zoo. I am so proud of myself for doing it. First road...

It's weird how exhausting grief is. Emotionally and mentally I am just spent. Add to that not sleeping well, dreaming about G and...

Tomorrow the DNA test kit should arrive. It's a 50% chance that P inherited ARVD/C from G - the genetic condition that caused his first...

I feel so much pressure to be mom & dad to P. Not pressure from the outside, but pressure because I am seeing more clearly than ever how...

I'm no one's priority. I used to be G's. There was someone who thought of me. Prioritized me. Preferred me. Someone who was my...

I constantly feel like I'm failing. As a mom. As a missionary. As a neighbor. As a daughter. As a recipient of gifts and kindness. My...

About a month ago I tried to go to my online Bible study. I thought it would be encouraging to see the other women and hear Truth from...

On teaching my son math. Today was horrible. I cannot homeschool, and be mom, and take care of everything with finances, and look for...

Today is my first Valentine's Day without G since we started dating. Our first Valentine's was in 2005 and we started dating the fall of...

Being a single parent is harder than I could've imagined. And it's very different than parenting on your own because your spouse is away....

We drove home today. The drive went so well and P had a great attitude. Even though yesterday he was furious at the idea of coming home....

I completed my 4th private school application for my son today. Part of it was a parental review of the child's behavior which included...

I slept for 10 hours last night. What a difference it makes to not be in our room, our home, our bed. Everything at night screams G's...

I haven't posted in a while - this week was crazy. It was our first week home alone since G died and it was utterly exhausting. I don't...

Our second day on our own found me lying face down in the snow crying at one point. Because the whole morning was a battle of the wills...

Every night I look at pictures. Starting in 2007 (the ones on this computer), I've been going through - adding them to special memory...