Every night before bed we would say this to each other: Goodnight I love you Best friends Marry you again Keesh In the last few weeks...

Is G's life a tragedy? His story is one of abuse as a young child by the very people who should've protected him. Of painful years of...

I've been having this really strong need to celebrate G lately. I think part of it comes from looking at old pictures. I've found...

I feel so much pressure to be mom & dad to P. Not pressure from the outside, but pressure because I am seeing more clearly than ever how...

A couple days ago I found the DVD of our wedding. We hadn't watched it in years - a decade maybe? I was struck by so many things. How...

I'm no one's priority. I used to be G's. There was someone who thought of me. Prioritized me. Preferred me. Someone who was my...

Last week I finally removed my toe nail polish. It had been on my toes since before G died. A few days later I put on new polish. From...

Yesterday, my brother-in-law helped me download over 26,000 pictures onto G's computer from an external hard drive. Over 26,000! I spent...

My counselor reminded me yet again that G's death was a severe mercy. In my grief and longing to see him again, it's easy to forget just...

This afternoon I Facetimed with an older widow. We hadn't met before but she works with the same organization as I do. We talked for an...

There are so many things I want to remember. G's laugh - especially his ridiculous one that sounded like a single goose honk. All of...

How is he really gone? My best friend. The love of my life. My husband. My safe place. The one who has always felt like home. The one who...

I miss having someone that I have inside jokes with. G and I would constantly catch each other's eyes across a table, a room, or a...

My brother in law came today. P and I have been alone for 9 days - our longest stretch so far. It has been HARD for both of us. Having...

Today is the 2 month anniversary of G's death. Yesterday I finally was able to back through some of the emails that were sent between me...

I think the most comforting words I've heard in this whole process is that what I'm experiencing is normal. Grief is unlike anything else....

Today is my first Valentine's Day without G since we started dating. Our first Valentine's was in 2005 and we started dating the fall of...

Being a single parent is harder than I could've imagined. And it's very different than parenting on your own because your spouse is away....

I woke up feeling okay this morning. Even hopeful! As if I could keep going and life might have joys in it. Maybe there is a future...

We drove home today. The drive went so well and P had a great attitude. Even though yesterday he was furious at the idea of coming home....