I came to this space today to process in private. The other blog is out there - people are reading it in real time. But this one? No one...

Today I turn 38. Greg will always be 35. These numbers feel so strange. He was always 12 days older than me. How can I now be 3 years...

Imagine standing on a concrete floor holding a big, clear mirror in your hands. And then dropping it and watching it smash onto the...

I've been reading through the blog we kept when G was waiting for his transplant. It is surreal. Sept. 30, 2010 I wrote all about his...

It's the second day of fall, and the first day that it feels like it. I'm sitting here wearing a fleece jacket, jeans, and my favorite...

It still hurts. Rejection, feeling messed with, feeling cast aside. But I think I dodged a bullet. I met HW and it felt good to feel a...

Today would be 15 years of marriage. 15 years since we said I do. I've had this song in my head by Andrew Peterson since I woke up this...

She always treated him like a grandson. He always loved her like a grandmother. Maybe it's easier when you aren't related by blood and...

I'm starting to share our story. Beyond this blog (which at this point has no readers!). I've had a secret Facebook account for a while...

I've been feeling that old feeling again. That pit in my stomach. The nausea I associate with losing G. The constant, unending feeling...

My goodness, how is my boy finishing 2nd grade tomorrow? A grade that G wasn't here for at all. He's up to my shoulders now and growing...

Why is a big question. And it's one I don't like to ask. Because there aren't any answers on this side of Heaven. Why did G die? Why...

I need a new dream. I've been waiting for someone to give one to me, and I've felt aimless. Maybe remarriage has become my new dream. ...

I had an incredible husband. A really, really good one. He was not perfect. Of course not. His sin nature, his humanity, was all to...

God gives us protection and provision. No - God IS our protection and provision. As I've been chasing down this relationship with HW...

It is amazing how much can be revealed in a day. A day of letting it soak in that whatever relationship I thought I had with HW and...

This hurts. I woke up and it still hurts. But it does feels a little different - or maybe I'm just getting some clarity. I tried way too...

I was friend-zoned but I was doubting it. After all, the next day he was flirting with me over text again like nothing had happened. So...

It's Mother's Day again. My second without G here. I truly can't remember last year. What did we do? Did we celebrate? I feel sure...

It's been a big week. Saturday was P's 8th birthday party. We also went to G's favorite restaurant (Buffalo Wild Wings) in his honor and...